My "Ah-Ha" moment

I am finding that teaching is a lot like parenting. First of all, it is an art. There are some general guidelines, but every teacher has his or her own style. Second, and more importantly though, it is a field in which all people are exposed and in which most will regularly critique. I will be the first to admit that I have looked down on plenty of parents and teachers who didn’t measure up to my standards.

In fact, we are all likely guilty of judging the frazzled mother of a screaming toddler as she desperately pleads and compromises with her unruly child while bribing him with a piece of candy if he will simply behave long enough for her to get through the checkout line at the grocery store.

“My child will never act like that” I would always say with confidence, “because I would handle that situation so much better.”

Since becoming a mother however, I have come to realize that despite my best intentions, I don’t always handle every situation the way I had once anticipated. In the same way, I am quickly learning that I don’t have all the answers to every situation a teacher encounters in the classroom.

I have to admit that I initially took this position because I knew that it would look good on my resume and help me in my quest to secure a teaching position within the next year. I entered the classroom confident that I could successfully do anything I put my mind to and that I could certainly do a better job than those “other” teachers I’ve seen.

I’ve spent hours planning out objectives, preparing my assessment, and then designing my lessons so I don’t fall into the trap of giving busy work like those “other” teachers do. I comment, grade and record all assignments within 24 hours of them being turned in. I dress professionally. I come in early and stay late. I do my job the best I can.

But they’re still not learning. They still don’t care. They still act out. They still question my authority and disrespect me.

What more do they want from me? I’ve sacrificed time with my family and friends for a low-paying substitute job with no benefits! Don’t they realize I’m worthy of their respect?

NO MICHELLE! THEY DON’T! BECAUSE YOU HAVEN’T SHOWN THAT YOU CARE ABOUT THEM! THIS HAS ALL BEEN ABOUT YOU! It’s about your resume, your time, your sacrifice, your dedication, your foot in the door.

Guilty.

What was I thinking? I’ve never embraced them as “my students.” Instead, I’ve distanced myself from them and the other teachers because this is just a stepping stone for me.

Did I really think they couldn’t see through that? They don’t care how much time I spend on the lessons or how much curriculum I cover in the 12 weeks I’m with them. They won’t likely remember my well-thought out demonstrations or my timely grading practices. In fact, if I don’t care about them, I will just become yet another adult who has stepped in and out of their lives.

They need adults who care about them – not ones that are using them to get where they need to be. I am guilty of being the latter. I vow to become the former.

One Step at a Time

I came across an amazing website this week called Teacher Training Videos. It provide step by step guides for using Blogs, Backchannel tools, Twitter, Jing, Itunes, Vocaroo, Mailvu and more.

There’s another site I found last month that provides how-to videos as well. It’s called Learn it in 5. It has a library of how-to videos, produced by technology teachers, for the purpose of helping teachers and students navigate through these tools. The step-by-step how-to videos demonstrate how to use Web 2.0 applications like blogs, social networks, podcasts, interactive videos, wikis, slidesharing and much more. Both of these sites give laggards like myself the training and motivation we need to learn Web 2.0 tools.

I recently met with a professor at The University of Akron who said that she needs someone to walk her through different technologies and then provide her with a guide so that she can follow the steps when no one is there to show her. Sites like this are perfect for people like that…people like us.

I’ve been very frustrated in my new classroom though because there’s simply no real innovative way to use a blackboard or an overhead projector. I so desperately want to be trying these new tools in my classroom. My students are bored out of their minds with bookwork and worksheets. I hate teaching like that.

With no opportunity to practice using these tools, it makes it very difficult and unmotivating to learn them. I can watch these how-to videos til I’m blue in the face, but I’ll never truly learn them if I have no platform for using them.

So maybe I was wearing rose-colored glasses...

I just read over my last post and realized that I didn’t follow through with my initial objective which was to get the classroom under control before attempting to teach. I found myself at a loss, not knowing what to do with them in order to get them under control. I was so excited to teach that I practically dove right in.

On my third day, I sent a student to the office who refused to sit in his seat and do any work, was disruptive and disrespectful and acted like he was shooting at me while I was trying to teach a subject in which I have no prior knowledge (6th grade science). Within 30 minutes, this student was back in my classroom behaving in the same way. I asked another student to go to the office and he told me he wouldn’t go unless I escorted him there. I couldn’t leave 10 other students unsupervised, so I had no other choice but to allow him to stay in the class.

I want to see this through. However, I cannot afford to sacrifice my sanity and time with my own children to work in an environment that drains every bit of energy from me due to lack of support from staff and administration. I am trying to learn 2 different grade levels of Science and Language Arts in order to be an effective teacher. I’ve been given some PowerPoints, Smartboard presentations and other materials from different teachers, but I don’t even have a projector or a Smartboard to display the information for my students and the “class activities” I’ve been given are hardly possible with a group that refuses to cooperate.

I’m quickly finding that instead of teaching, I am babysitting for students who seem to have no real rules. From what I can tell, they get the same consequence regardless if they are talking or being completely disrespectful, disruptive and noncompliant – they get a “clip” moved. It’s simply not possible to “mark” every bad behavior while trying to teach. Instead, they are threatened all day long about getting their clip moved and most of the time (from what I have seen) there is little follow through and very little consequence. Instead, candy, prizes and parties are dangled in front of them to try to get them to cooperate. Why are we rewarding students with less instructional time when they are behind academically? This is not how I teach. This goes against everything I know to be right about education.

In just 12 school days, I have been humbled to the point of tears and have been questioning every educational philosophy I’ve ever had.